Happy New Year! (I think this is the last time I get to say it lol) Can you believe that 14 days has already passed by?
As you think about the word that you chose for 2019, the goals you have created, and the exciting plans that you have laid out, I want you to pause for a second with this idea that I’ve been playing with. As a mom, we would all say that Family is important. The question I have for you is How important? And you might say, the most important thing! And Then I would ask you…. Is that the space that you make decisions from every time?
All the time?
Does your family shape your life? Or does your life shape your family?
Do you make the choices that you make because you think of family as the center or is your job, your finances, your energy, your ______ fill in the blank, fueling your decisions?
And I ask, because only you know. Only you can decide if whether or not you truly put family first or if family is important.
Then when thinking about the kind of life you want…Where you want to shop? What you want to do during the week? on the weekends? trips to take? places to go? things to see? I bet all of your answers create the kind of life you want for your family. The things you want them to see, do, experience, buy, have, and …. it comes down to what overall quality of life your family would have.
do we use that as the foundation of our lives? Are we thinking what kind of family experience we want to have in order to shape the lives we’re creating? I’m willing to bet that you don’t or maybe that’s not the language you use.
So I am coining Family Life Design.
Starting from home and creating the dynamic that you want to feel at home and using that to shape what your experiences will be in the world.
Creating the structure you want in your home, so that you have empowered children that know what they have to do, a spouse that knows how to help, so that mom isn’t constantly bordering on overwhelm and burn out.
That you could leave your house and it would STILL function without you. Could you do that? For how long?
Don’t worry, I’ll wait. lol
I know that because I have been guilty of Doing it all, Not needing help, having it covered, only to pass out after a couple of days right after bedtime because I didn’t want to look like I had it all together. Exhausted because I didn’t prepare my kids to help with clean up, laundry, household activities, keeping their things in order, and whatever else you want to add to the list. My honeybun wants to help but before I was to uptight about how I wanted things to be done, what it needed to look like, how it was supposed to taste and was just inflexible in creating a home life that we both created.
So for 2019
We are putting down our capes, and thinking up what our ideal family life would look like? How our kids and spouse could help? The community we have in this thing called motherhood. And how that would fuel us to have the time for self care instead of the early wake ups or the midnight oil stints just to get some me time.
How is family life design going to change your day to day?
Well, does the time of day that you want your kids to have to wake up dictate the kind of job you take or the schools they go to? What kind of activities do you want your child to be in could dictate the kinds of neighborhood you move to or how much is in the expense line in your budget to make sure that it’s provided for? What kind of burn out are you experiencing and what would you like to take off your plate and put onto your spouse or your children? Family life design is not about starting from scratch but building from where you are to where you want to be.
There is no ideal family situation. All of our families are different. We all have different needs and wants. But mom, you have to realize HOW MUCH POWER you have in creating this dynamic for your family.
Does your family life look exactly the way that you want it to? And if it did….how much happier would you be?
I say let’s be the generation that truly puts family first. Let’s create our family life with a little bit more finesse than what just happened… or from taking bits and pieces from the mothers before us. Let us set out a blueprint with an end in mind instead of just building as things come up.
What’s one thing you can change today to make your family life look exactly like you want today? Tell me in the comments below.