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Wellness

Wellness

The 1 Thing To Do If You’re Burnt Out and Exhausted…

Hello Love,

I gave myself permission to rest today. After all the hooplah of my birthday and hosting, drinking, entertaining, I woke up tired. Rather than pushing through and bearing it I decided to rest.

And the kids still managed to eat with a little help from dad. The kids still did something productive, watched more tv than I would have liked but we made it through.

I feel better now that I had a chance to rest and I’m glad that I didn’t try to be Superwoman and do everything that was on my list. So laundry was half done, dinner was decent, and the kids still got to have story-time with 3 books, 1 song, 5 goodnight kisses and hugs.

But I know before, I would have pushed through and went to work. I would have completely gone above and beyond to make sure that I felt productive and accomplished in having beards not feeling well but still handling all of my duties.

But truth be told, I have myself the permission I needed to not worry about a glamorous dinner, doing all the laundry, cleaning up, and having a fun activity planned for the family.

I rested and that was more than enough.

I feel good.

I’m glad I didn’t over extend myself and I’m sure more moms need some of that too.

There will always be more than enough to do, something else to try, someplace else to be so don’t exhaust yourself by trying to do everything, to have everything, to be everything to everybody.

Rest. You have permission to rest. So please lay up, chill out, take a bath instead of a shower, have a glass of wine, another cup of coffee, or whatever else you need.

Rest is a huge part of self care, so regiment time daily.

Talk To You Soon,

Sheamonique Ellis

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Self Care Wellness

Someone(‘s Mom, Someone’s Daughter, Someone’s Wife): Who are you without your branches?

Hello Love,

Those new to the blog thank you for stopping in and and to my return readers I just thought that I should share. I got the chance to share out my feelings on motherhood as a guest on the Go Forth and Adult Podcast. If you want to check it out you can do so here Mother, May I? and I got to share my thoughts on being a mother in this wonderful feminist era, #metoo movement, where women are finally being heard and acknowledged as people.

What was posed in the conversation was the idea that is being perpetuated about Black mothers who have an interesting intersection in the media as being too STRONG, too INDEPENDENT, too HARD to be seen as the soft, vulnerable, sweet, loving woman that is often portrayed of white mothers.

But what was posed was the question of How do you define yourself outside of being a mom? What do you do to keep your identity outside of being a mother.  and I understood the intention of the question. Society has shown us for far too long that women’s main purpose is to be a mom without promoting that same ideal of fatherhood on to men.  And I remember stating very clearly… I am the wrong person to ask.

When really, I was the perfect person to ask. So again, I encourage you to go and check out the podcast, I was perhaps TOO HOT (honest, Open, transparent) but I shared…

I am Shea and the roles that I have are mom, daughter, girlfriend, etc..

In how I define myself and want to be seen as a mother is that I should be acknowledged, FIRST as a person.

I am SOMEONE…before I am Someone’s MOM, Daughter, Wife, Sister, Friend, Colleague. I am a person first.

Their are moms tell who when asked who are they, they start with Mom, or Wife. I am not here to tell you how to define yourself. I am here to remind you that no one else is allowed to define you. No one can tell you who and what you are. You have the right to inform them.

I have to remember me in the midst of all of this. Who you are as a person is who you will be in all of the roles you occupy. So that goes on to say that if you STAND solely on the roles you play… When those role have struggle and strife, and they will you will question yourself as a PERSON. Not doing well as a mom, and if you define yourself solely in that role then you begin to question your WORTH as a person. If you are a wife first when your marriage is going through its problems or its struggles then you will also question your WORTH. So defining WHO you are, WHO I AM, on anything that is outside of me where I may have influence but not control makes it hard to be maintain happiness and gratitude.

My role of mom is a gift. I am reminded of that everyday. I am shown beautiful memories with everything that my children do. BUT…. I have to be Happy with myself in order to be Happy. If I am not happy it doesn’t matter what they do, I won’t be able to feel joy. You are you? How do you define you? What do you care about? Stay Tuned! I have an amazing gift for all of my subscribers to help with their self-discovery, their soul uncovering, and healing. Subscribe to the blog below to stay in the know.

 

Talk To You Soon,

Sheamonique Ellis

 

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Self Care Wellness

Want To Get Over Your Negative Self Talk…Here’s How

Hello Love,

This is how it typically goes. You say something positive about yourself and then that small voice inside of you says something against it. You give yourself life…UNTIL the small voice can’t say anything.

 

Duel of Self

 

This is Me: “”

And My Insecure Self: (italics)

 

I am a river. (No you’re not)

I am giving. (No you’re not)

I am the answer to someone’s prayer. (Who’s prayer?)

I am promoted by God. (Girl, please)

I am selfless. (You tried it)

I am honest. (Now, you lying?)

I am kind. (Not, wit yo mean ass!)

I am beautiful. (MMMMmmm, I’ll give you that one)

I am powerful. (Not today)

I am feminine. (Not in every way)

I am unique. (But sometimes you’re the same)

I am a mentor. (Girl, stop playing)

I am a role model. (To who?)

I am dope. (For you?)
I am interesting. (Yeah, sometimes)
I am witty. (Yeah you right)

I am a good Shepherd of money. (Not even when you try).

I am a wonderful mother. (Not all the time)

I am intelligent. (This I know)

I am creative. (Silence)
I am a entrepreneur. (Even louder Silence)

I am a boss. (Now that’s a lie)

I am a successful business woman (only if you try)

I am saved. (Yeah, we’re making through)

I am a woman of integrity. (True)

I am vivacious. (True)

I am empowering. (True)

I am a movement. (Only you know)

I am able. (…)

I am able. (…)

I am able. (…)

I am able. (…)

I am able… I am able…. I am able!

 

Wins:

Insecure self: 21

Me: 1,

and that is more than enough

 

[Note: You never refer to yourself as YOU or by name. Whenever you say something to yourself in the 2nd person, YOU, or ______ (fill in the blank with your name) know that this is not your true voice. You talk to yourself in “I” statement. If only I, I need to, Why did I…. That is YOUR OWN VOICE, You, or Your name _________ is the voice of your enemy. The voice of your insecure self. Talk nicely to yourself. Like you are the most precious person in the whole world. In YOUR WORLD, You are]

Talk To You Soon,

 

Sheamonique Ellis

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