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Shea

Family

Positive Self Talk For the Kids (Not Just Praise and “Good Job”)

Hello Lovely,

In the spirit of Parenthood Monday, I wanted to start with the why of positive self talk! Yes, we say, Good girl (and hope we don’t sound like we’re talking to a dog) and provide rewards like “If you do good today, we can get donuts after school” (It’s not bribery they worked for it) I’m talking about straight parenting, in terms of building relationships, rapport, and love between you and you child.

Now did you know that for 1 negative statement you need 5 to neutralize it. Neutralize in terms of not making it matter. So let’s look at that…

Why are you being so lazy?

  1. You worked so hard.
  2. You worked so hard
  3. You worked so hard.
  4. You worked so hard.
  5. You worked so hard

And guess what…They still don’t believe that they’re not lazy.

You said 1 negative thing. Said 5 positive things and now that 1 negative thing you said, has no weight on who they believe themselves to be.

So imagine, if you say 3 of 4 negative things…the number of positive statements you would need to say just so that they would actually believe it.

Words are powerful. So powerful. And as parents…we often take them lightly. Not because we don’t love our kids, not because we don’t care, but sometimes we are wreckless and don’t see the gravity in our actions and words on these small people we are raising.

So let’s work on positive affirmations. Beautiful, wonderful, intrinsic value words that we can teach our children to say to themselves and provide the self-esteem that we literally CAN NOT give them. (It’s called self-esteem (in my Kat Williams voice) It’s esteem of yourself) But we teach them…how to think ABOUT themselves, how to talk to themselves, how to love themselves.

So give yourself grace, give your child’s life and in the moments where they mess up, they can’t get it right, are driving you crazy, are not doing their best, are too tired, hungry, or agitated to care, remember that this is a teachable moment. That instead of reacting, you come in with the assist (like Jason Kidd from the Nets) and help them get the win. Help them navigate the situation. Help them to see the brighter side.

Help them to help themselves.

So in your 4 minutes of agitation… when you are annoyed and drop 1, 2, 3, 4 negative statements, comments, criticisms, or ….about your kid remember you will need 5, 10, 15, 20 statements just for those negative ones to have NO EFFECT.

You are literally the make or break to your kid and their best self. So when, it’s too much, as the adult remember to be quiet. And when they come through with the goodness SHOWER THEM with praise, love, affirmation, high fives, cookies, hugs, whatever it is you guys do as a unit and keep them with enough points on their scoreboard to make it through the next round.

Make Home Learning Easy,

Shea Tracey

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Inspiration

What My Brother’s Suicide Taught Me About Life?

Hello Love,

So just a say after celebrating my 4 year anniversary with my best friend and love of my life, I have to acknowledge the day my brother took his on life. We were estranged, my brother and I, after he left to join the military during my sophomore year of high school and I didn’t hear from him again until shortly after I graduated college.

He messaged me to let me know he was proud. And sent me a gift.

He sent my a kindle fire, something I used until I lost the charger, and something I haven’t thrown away because it’s the only thing he ever gave me.

While I was on the first day to with the man that would one day be my husband, my older brother went out into the woods of Colorado, with a device that he made on his own, and took his own life. He was found a few hours later by some people on a hike and we found out after the police dropped by my moms, to let us know his body had been found.

It  was surreal the people that swept in to be by our side at this time. Crazy, how strong I realized I could be as my family fell apart breaking down in fits of tears, trying to remember the memories we had. I was tasked with finding people that knew him. People that could explain to us where he had been, what happened, and how we was shortly before he ended it all.

And in that process, I learned a lot about my brother. Who he was? What he liked? What he was working on? What dreams he had that didn’t hold up for one reason or another? And it made me reflect about my own life immediately. And in knowing my brother reached for his dreams and for whatever reason couldn’t meet them, he tried to live a life he loved, but for some reason was unable, I switched my energy of who I thought I needed to be and decided to become more of who I was, am, becoming.

At 31, he ended his life. And at 25 I began mine.

Every year has been more and more of me finding myself, living out my dreams, pursuing my desires and passions, loving my kids, being open with my spouse, being the person I wanted to be and not the one I thought I had to be. And as I get older I realize more and more exactly who that is.

So what did his death teach me exactly, it taught about living. REALLY living. About experiencing, feeling, being open, being honest, being real, and moving away, letting go, and riding myself of things that didn’t let me do that. His death taught me about how much power I really have. The power to start, to finish, to end it. His death taught me about the demons that I had for myself and how I needed to deal with them before they destroyed me. The destructive thoughts, the harmful thinking, the tattered memories, my childhood scars, my own fears, my triggers, the gaps in my thinking, my denial of self. He taught me to deal with that so that not living my dreams would stop haunting me.

Every year, I get better. I get more excited, I feel more at ease with myself, more at ease with my decisions, more proud because of my choices. I have learned its not always about the end. The legacy. The culmination, but about the day. Focusing on the moment. Living in the now. And being open to letting those you love do it with you.

His death taught me to let people in. It taught me there is so much more to life. That time is abundant when you look at the moment. That I have so much left to do. So much more to experience. I learned to be a better mom, better partner, better friend, better teacher, a better me, because of how I want to feel right now and how I want to be remembered. How do you want you kids to think of you, you family to think of you, your community to acknowledge you?

How do you want to be remembered?

Make Family Life Easy,

Shea Tracey

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Family

Our Love Story Is My Favorite

Hello Love,

Today, March 14 is our 4 year anniversary as a couple. We have each had 4 birthday, 3 Christmases, 3 Thanksgiving, 4 New Years, 1 son together, 2 going on 3 of Mason’s birthdays, 4 of Sean’s Birthdays, countless dates, crazy moments, days of silence, and great laughs together…. and it still feels like the beginning.

I’ve known him since I was 8 years old. Met him, in 4th grade going to West Vernon Elementary. He is the older brother of one of my closest friends. At 8 I wasn’t checking for him, but when I did start even at 13, I knew he was off limits. So we floated in proximity, between polite smiles, sideway stares, and not much else until about 12 years later.

Talk about timing.

For the first time ever, we were both single at the time, both having gotten out of complicated and difficult relationships, when we were finally seated next to each other at a birthday dinner, that I got a last minute invite to and he of course, as her brother had to be there. We sat, we talked, and it was known to everyone at the table that this was a union that was long awaited.

I knew on this night, this man was going to be my husband.

Over drinks, poker, good music, hospitality, the book Gone Girl, on his bookshelf, we got to talk. We shared similar values, we made each other laugh, we just fit. In all of our differences, in all of our uniqueness, in his quirks, my annoyances, his introvert, to my loud, we made perfect sense.

And from them with time I was shown, this amazing kind of love. A love that is calm, endearing, happy, and natural. We bring out bits of each other that wouldn’t be there without the other. We bring out the best in each other in the most subtle of questions, words of encouragement, moments of silence, requests of new behavior, submission, vulnerability, passion, monotony, and moments of excitement. We mesh, me mixed, we blend like silk and cashmere, fragile, luxurious and beautifully made.

So excited to do life with this man and as we embark on a new year together I am looking forward to all the other beautiful memories we will make together.

What’s the most interesting thing about your love story? What’s your favorite part? Share with me in the comments.

Make Family Life Easy,

Shea Tracey

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Home Life

The Key to Great Time Management and Efficiency For Millennial Moms

Hello Love,

We are just moving along in our week and headed midway into March, how is your 2019 looking so far. My word for this year has been focus and in that I have worked really hard to narrow down my efforts and get a few BIG things done this year. But in order to get those things done Time Management and Efficiency are absolute musts.

I used to play with time. Let it run from me, waste it, idle around until I created emergencies for myself, but not anymore. Every minute of the day is important and it’s up to me to use it wisely. There are millions of things to do, that have to be done, that should be worked on and its only you that will make sure that they get done. The question is WHEN?

When will you focus on A, B, or C? How you decide determines how productive you will be.

So the Key to Great Time Management and Efficiency is PRIORITIES.

You have to set them out and be intentional about getting to them at certain times or parts of your day. Saying you will versus making a plan are two completely different things. You have to identify the priority and create the plan for its moving parts. How long do you think each part will take you and when do you have that time in you day, your week, your month, etc.

I.E.; I have to make organize the kids toy box, create meal plan for the week, or do spring cleaning for the house.

  1. Identify the goal
  2. Break it into smaller parts. Clean the House. (Kitchen, Living room, Dining room, bathroom, kids bedroom, master bedroom, garage, and front porch)
  3. What needs to be done in each of those areas. (Kitchen= thaw out freezer, toss out old food, clean oven, change filter for vent, go through Tupperware for lids, dishes, clean dishwasher, sweep, mop)
  4. Identify how much time each of those things would take.  (Kitchen: thaw out freezer=4 hours, toss out old food=30 minutes, clean oven=1 hour, change filter for vent= 20 minutes, go through Tupperware for lids=20 minutes, dishes=30 minutes, clean dishwasher=1 hour, sweep=15 minutes, mop= 15 minutes)
  5. Then look through and seen when you can get part of that list done with your current schedule. Today I will for sure, go through Tupperware, change filter, and clean the oven)

When you have 10 things to do you have to narrow your focus and the use of the your energy down to 3 nonnegotiables. I have to do 1, 2, 3. If I get to 4 or 5 then that’s great but before my head hits the sheets 1-3 will be done. And following through on this is the next most important thing.

And in that you also have to know what is NOT a priority. Something could very well be busy work, a waste of time, or redundant to focus all of your energy on it today if it won’t matter next month. Be discerning of what to give your energy to. Not everything requires it.

It’s not enough to make the plan for it, carve out the time, get the materials and for the time to come you decided you are too tired, too sick, too unavailable, to get it done. You make the plan and THEN you work the plan.

What are you 3 big priorities for the week? And then Your 1 Big Thing for your upcoming days.  Let me know in the comments.

Make Family Life Easy,

Shea Tracey

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Family

How We Explore Our Children’s Interests and Cultivate Their Passions

Hello Love,

What are your kids obsessed with? Is it video games, butterflies, airplanes, or maybe dolls. Whatever it is this is a sign that YOU GUYS MUST DO SOMETHING. I believe that our children came into this world with a whole PERSONALITY, likes, dislikes, taste, preferences, things they find funny, foods they are obsessed with, characters that make them smile, the works, and it is up to you mommy to find out what it is. So amazingly, your child has a song that they love, a TV show that they can binge watch, a food that eat by the basket-full this is your opportunity to engage.

That smile is a start.

What makes your kid smile? What do they want to talk about or always seem to notice? What is something that obsess over and cry when other kids take it? What are the things that make them tick?

Because once you find it, you get to do more with it.

It’s not enough, that your kid’s first word is ball, shower him with balls, and all different kinds. Books about balls, different sports that have balls in them, ways to throw, and catch, share, and play to get his love of balls. Movies that feature sports. Songs that sing, fun places where he gets to play in them, surround himself with him and build on his knowledge of it.

Do this with everything your child seems to love! I would challenge, that your kids has already shown you the kind of person they are. What their temperament is? What their demeanor is? What their impulses are? What their fears are? And with that you have to make sure that you use this and cultivate it and build upon it until they tire of it.

My son, loves maps. He likes to know where places are? How far places are? Where they are on the map? What is the city known for? How fast can we get there? What people have to wear for the weather they have there? What are good places for people to eat there? Is their McDonald’s different from the one we have up the street? He wants to find it on the map, see it on GPS, count down the time until we arrive, and take something back with us when we leave.

I have a ball player and a traveler.

  • Who are your children?
  • What do they love?
  • What do they talk about?
  • What would that do to get you to talk about it to?

Books, movies, YouTube videos, games, classes, board games, flashcards, songs, educational websites, coloring pages, puzzles, groups, clubs, etc. is your next step.

We all have things we loved as children, things that we could of went deeper into, things that we loved, talents that we have that we could of cultivated that we didn’t. So in knowing what you child needs to develop talents, skills, interests, or whatever in your child, helps them to cultivate themselves but with your help mom.

It’s not enough to give your child everything you didn’t have but to teach them everything you didn’t know. Give them opportunities you didn’t have, expose them to experiences you didn’t get a chance to experience, and introduce them to people that are completely different perspectives. We are the roots and we have to grow our children up so they can grow  and blossom.

Make Family Life Easy,

Shea Tracey

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Family

How To Keep Your Anniversary Holy (Even With The Passing Years)

Hello Love,

We are that amazing time in my life where I get to celebrate and mourn all at the same time.

The start of my relationship with my partner of four years, will always be connected to the suicide of my older brother. On our first date, which has its own struggles of my hoarse voice, our hour wait at the restaurant of his choosing, and our first set of pictures together will always be tied to my brother’s voyage into the wood of Colorado, wandering into the night, looking for a place to take his life where he believed he could alone and his body not found.

The best night of my life, is tied to the night my brother took his own life.

Sit on that for a moment.

At 25 I was stepping into my first ever productive and meaningful relationship and my older brother who at this time was estranged because he left at 18 and never came back home, took his life at 31, deciding he didn’t want to be on this Earth anymore because the pain was too unbearable. So sitting here at 30 years old this has such a more profound meaning for me.

It’s moments like this that I am reminded that God is so very real. The divine timing of this, the stamp that was put on us as a couple will forever be ingrained into my memory because if it weren’t for this connection, I would have used many occasions to leave.

Not because I am a quitter, not because I don’t believe in true love, not because I feel undeserving of love, but because… I only ever thought love to be easy.

I never knew romantic love to be a part of my legacy. Fighting my qualms with generational curses of single parenthood, of my history with dysfunctional relationships, unrealistic expectations, of my arrogance with being every man’s dream, I had come to accept that love HAD TO BE  work. And because of that connection that T and I had, with our first date happening at the same time as my brother suicide I learned that with love comes loss. With love comes change. With love comes difficult choices and sporadic meanings, and difficult times, and trying times, and the ability to push through it.

If it weren’t for my brother, I would have given up on this love. Time and time again. But then I remember the beginning. I remember the loss that comes with the new. The difficult that comes with the easy and the look of it.

Remembering the beginning, is the whole point of the anniversary.

So what if this is year 4, year 8, or year 10. Remember the beginning. Remember the beauty in exposing yourself and the vulnerability in being honest, open, transparent, with this person that you weren’t certain you would spend your life with. Or this person who you swore you would spend your life with and the awe that it has come to fruition.This is a gift. Every year that the date rings it’s a reminder of your commitment, your promise, your growth, and the newness that comes with THIS STAGE of your life.

I will always keep our anniversary holy. And maybe you don’t have a story as dramatic as mine, maybe your love came more simpler, with more ease, or maybe with more difficultly. Can’t you stand in awe of this legacy your building? Of this love you’re creating? With that, applaud yourself, celebrate your love, open up the lines of awe and move in that capacity.

I will be celebrating year 4 with this man, that I didn’t know was promised to me. I met him when I was 8, was best friends with his sister, saw him during our middle school years and he was a distant memory. It was 17 years later, after being a single mom, going to a last minute event, that we reconnected, and the rest is history.

Because even the unplanned and unexpected, worked out into our favor to deliver God’s favor. I know that I am beyond blessed to have him. And I am sure that you and your partner, your husband, your spouse, has this same feeling. We have to celebrate it. How will you celebrate it? Tell me in the comments below.

Make Family Life Easy,

Shea Tracey

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Family

When Your Children Disappoint You, Punishment=Crime

Hello Love,

As a mom of 2 boys I often hear things like, OH, Boys are SOOOOOOO Much easier than girls! LIES. Children are children, whether you have a son or a daughter parenting is challenging. I have 2 boys, 3 years apart and trying to navigate those waters change just as often as they do. Every passing day they are a bit smarter, more curious, more independent and EACH step of the way, as a mom you have to remember two things.

  1. Remember Who You Child Is

  2. Remember WHO YOU ARE

Our children are either JUST LIKE US, or NOTHING LIKE US and both of those things EVOKE a response. Let me say that again. Either your child is JUST like you and that is a problem… or they are NOTHING like you… This is also a problem. Remember who your child is, who they are not, what they like, what they do not like, results in how you treat them. My oldest is like any Taurus. A Bull, like the one in a Toy store but the store only has glass toys. Put him in a room of other children and I’m sure you will be able to point my child out because he is something that EVERYONE ELSE is NOT doing.

So in that, when he does something that is NOT in alignment with what I expect of him, that doesn’t mean that he is walking OUT of alignment with WHO HE IS.

Yes, I don’t want him to do certain things, or to behave in certain ways, he knows the expectation and he works towards but like any 5 years old he will fall short of expectations as I fall short as an adult at 30. So, when he falls short, I have to remember this and give him grace. Was anyone hurt? Is he hurt? Was this purposeful? Did he have space to forget what was expected? What he too excited to contain himself? Did he lose himself and act out of frustration or anger? On a scale of 1 to 10…. How important will this be in a year?

THEN, you find the punishment.

Our children will only be as consistent as we are. We aren’t handing out whoopings, timeouts, or take aways (you lose something) just because of HOW WE FEEL in that moment. We have to respond the way we normally do, so that they understand that those are your consequences and are reminded of expectations. So even when you’re annoyed and even when you feel that HE SHOULD OF KNOWN…remember

  1. Remember Who You Child Is

  2. Remember WHO YOU ARE

They will fall short, as well fall short of them. They don’t get everything want. We don’t want to play every time they want to play. We aren’t always as excited as they need us to be. We get tired. We get annoyed. We lose our tempers. We do things out of alignment of their expectations and they always give us grace…BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO CHOICE lol but in that we have to remember. What they have done has to fit how we react. How we react always has to be consistent. I know as a child, it was always random, the responses to our behavior. As 1 of 5 my mom, had a lot of personalities to deal with. And she dealt with us differently and I didn’t understand that as a child but I do as a mom. But even still, I know that there are things in my own practice as a mom that I can use, things I can throw away, and things I just leave as is without much stress from me. What are you doing that different from your mom? What are you doing that’s the same as your mom? Let me know in the comments.

Make Family Life Easy,

Shea Tracey

 

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Inspiration

Why do Millennial Moms Need Hobbies?

Hello Love,

Happy Friday! You worked hard all week…or maybe the work isn’t done just quite yet. You might have work over the weekend or activities to take the kids to BUT in the midst of all this…. I hope you take the time to do NOTHING.

By nothing, I mean SOMETHING, that doesn’t have anything to do with anyone else, work, your partner, or a way to make money. A means to just do as a way to unwind, a way to enjoy yourself, something you think is fun that also COSTS you money.

You put your heart where your money is…so odds are if you have a hobby that is free, it’s not really much of a joy at all. How do you fill yourself up if you don’t play?

How do you OVERFLOW into your family if your too busy pouring out?

You have to give at work, to your partner, to your kids, to your family, to your friends, to your community…BUT you can’t pour out and never fill back up.

And I’m not talking about wine glasses. Having a hobby gives you an outlet of creativity. and we are all made in God’s image so call us by our names. What do you create…for no other purpose than to create.

There are so many hobbies that you can participate in scrapbook, crochet, knitting, jogging, photography, painting, bowling,  gardening, coloring, baking, basketball, puzzles, calligraphy, zumba classes, dance classes, yoga, reading, writing, a collection, girl, candle making, I Don’t know. lol

But something that’s just for you. Something that makes you smile. Something that brings you joy, something that your kids can point out and say…My mommy really likes ______________.

We are so busy, building, comparing, competing, breaking down barriers, raising children, being the sex kitten at home, the lady in the streets, the stylish best friend, the go getting career woman that we don’t give ourselves enough time to laugh. To play. To be us.

So take the time. Write it out. Want to look into a hobby that you can try out. Go back to the beginning. Think back to the things you did when you were young. The things that you enjoyed when you were 8. The things you were obsessed with when you were 15. The things you did before the kids and partner came, (minus the clubbing and 5 inch high heels. Those things hurt now)

You have to take the time to just enjoy your life, your days, your time. Take some for yourself to revive your spirit and move your soul so that you can fill up. Walking around on full makes it so much easier for you to do for others and to stay focused on the long term vision.

 

Make Family Life Easy,

Shea Tracey

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Family

Why Am I So Passionate About Family Life?

Hello Love,

If you’re new to the blog, I’m Shea Tracey, the founder of 1 Busy Mommy. If you’re a returning reader, HEY, GIRL, HEY! I’m sure you may have noticed that there is a post everyday, and this is with intention. 1 Busy Mommy, LLC’s ultimate mission is to become the online destination for daily inspiration for all things marriage, parenting, and family lifestyle. So how else can it become that UNLESS, I write everyday.

Do you have to read everything, NO! But I say, take what you like and leave the rest. Because you and I both know that being a mom is SO MUCH and every mommy is different. Every child is different and every marriage is different but there are some things that just ring as Truth.

My hope is to get to that truth. Share it with you. Give you a DING! moment while you’re reading and transform your spirit that day.

I can’t possibly do that everyday….(I’m not that deep lol) but just know that it comes from a place of love, of familiarity, and from my desire to just be better than I was yesterday.

So… Why am I so passionate about family life?

What compelled me to want to start a blog and a business about being a mom?

Because Family Life is everything!

And I didn’t always feel this way. I have always been ambitious and driven and before having children, in the beginning of my mom-life, I was just that. Let me get this right SO, that I can be a better mom. Let me finish school, let me get this job, let me get us into a better home, let me get this man, let me get this ring, let me have a break and THEN…I can be a better mom.

This was the lie…we always tell ourselves. None of that makes us a better mom. Being a good mom, really just requires you to be.

You have to be, you. Just you. Beautiful, open, vulnerable, loving you to be a Better Mom.

And in a world where you have to compete, be strong, have it all, be put together, work like you have no children, raise your kids like you have no career, it becomes suffocating. I used to do this… and now I have to stop myself from doing it. But It has become more and more clear that in the midst of all my career success what means more to me than anything is to see my children do well. To be proud of my family and how open, loving, and accepting we are of one another.

That I am providing my children with something I never had which wasn’t the material items but the room for mistakes, a space for communication, one of friendship, and boundaries that are clear and explained to me.

I am passionate about family life, because its families that make up the world we live in. And I want me and my family to be contributing members. I want us to give the world something real.

The family is the cornerstone. The mother is the beacon. And we yield incredible power in the influence we have on the members of our family. I have to remind women of this.
This power that we have is fascinating and beautiful so I am here to remind you of that every single day.

To put your family first, to make that easier, to put your self as a priority, to be at your best for yourself and allow your family to feel the fruits of that self-love labor. To maintain my identity in this role as mom and to help you do the same. I am passionate about family life because we are God’s in what we have created. Belly’s stretched, organs shifted, evolved, and we were reborn as we brought our children here. Glory be to God.

So with that remember that joy your family gives you that no one else can. The love you feel for your kids that is so irrational that at times you think you are crazy. Remember the fire that is lit between you and your partner and the commitment that sustains that is built on that love.

This is what we have to remember. This is what we have to acknowledge. This is what we build our lives around.

Make Family Life Easy,

Shea Tracey

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Home Life

Set The Stage: Create Routines and Schedules That Make Mommyhood Easy(er)

Hello Love,

If you are moving from day-to-day, with little to no plan, cleaning and creating as you go it’s time to stop RIGHT NOW! Sometimes you want to just go with the flow, do things when you have time, do things when you need to, or do things when you’re tired of them not being doing, then we both know why family life is harder than it needs to be.

Your partner can’t help you if you just do things when it moves you, your kids can’t keep things in order if you only do so when you’re fed up and have to do it, you can’t be inspired to do other things when your mind or your energy is scattered on housework, parenting, and trying to take care of yourself.

You are the director, mommy! You are the one that calls the shots, sets the stage for all the routines to go smoothly or not, and you create the timeline for EVERYONE to follow. So, if you are the creator of it… are you happy with what you created.

I know, that early on in my relationship, I set the bar HIGH for MYSELF (What was I thinking?) All because I wanted to impress T and get him to like me. I came off as SUPERWOMAN, and I had the audacity to make it look easy. So why…. after 2 years of being superwoman when I was ready to be normal, was that such a problem and caused such a rift. Well, I was switching things up, making things difficult, and changing our norm.

And now since I made those changes, I don’t have to be superwoman all the time.

Sure I can be sometimes but I don’t have to be anymore. (THANK GOD!) The times where I packed a bag, in my mind, transferred funds out of my bank account, in my mind, and dipped out for some days. BUT, no that wasn’t going to happen. So instead of living a life that I wanted to runaway from, I changed it to one that made things beautiful.

So first things first… get clear on what you want. What do you want to see happen when you get home from work? When the kids get home from school? When your partner wakes up in the morning? When its time to do laundry? When it’s time to clean up the house? When it’s time to balance the books? When it’s time to have an event? The list goes on and on. But first YOU HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT.

Then create a schedule out of it. This is where routine comes to help.

  • What days will you do laundry?
  • What time will you cook dinner?
  • What days will you get gas?
  • What time will the kids take a bath?
  • Go to bed?
  • What time do you go over homework?
  • What chores will your partner do?
  • When are your girl’s days/nights?
  • What day(s) will go to the grocery store?
  • What day will you guys have family night?
  • How often will you have date night?
  • When will you visit family?
  • How will you spend time with your partner?
  • When is your self-care days?
  • When is your personal days? (No partner, no kids, no friends)
  • ALL OF THESE THINGS… and a few more… Make up your routine, schedules, and ultimately become how you run your life.

So go through the list, mark it on the calendar and stick to it until it becomes part of your muscle memory. So much so that you don’t have to think about it at all… it just comes as easily and as often as taking a shower or brushing your teeth.

What systems do you have in place? What are something you struggle with? What are some of the routines that you wish to tighten up? Let me know in the comments.

Make Family Life Easy,

Shea Tracey

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  • He’s a reflection of me. At his best and at his worst. But my job as a parent is not to take that to heart but to love him through. My name sake, my first born, my bull, My big boy. Whether he is wrong or he is right he still is me. #parentblogger #mommybloggers #momknowsbest #momlifestyle #blackmomskillingit #blackboyjoy #smile #parentbloggers #momofboys #mommy #selftalk #dailyaffirmation #insidevoice
  • Remember this when you say something to your kid in anger, annoyance, frustration, in play. It’s not 5 times to have an impact. It’s 5 positive statements so your negative statement doesn’t have an impact! Speak life at times. Life and death is in the tongue. #parentblogger #mommybloggers #momknowsbest #momlifestyle #blackmomskillingit #selftalk #selflove #positivevibes #positivequotes #affirmations #dailyaffirmations
  • You need 5 positive statements to neutralize 1 negative statement. Why are you so lazy? You work so hard. You work so hard. You work so hard. You work so hard. You work so hard! And your child is still at neutral. Don’t compound on the negative things you say to your child. Speak life into them. Tell them they are dope! Tell them they are graced by God to do amazing things. Tell them they light. That they have your heart. Lift them up and give them the tone of voice you want them to use when they talk to themselves. #parentblogger #mommybloggers #momknowsbest #momlifestyle #unschooling #homeschool #blackmomskillingit #blessedfamily #children #selftalk #selflove #blackmomsblog #gracedbygod #mom #wife #family #life #momblogger #
  • Rest. Put down the laundry, leave the cleaning for tomorrow, cook something quick for dinner or throw in the instapot. Rest, do something that brings you joy, spend time with your family. Restore yourself #parentblogger #mommybloggers #home #sunday #browngirlswhoblog #rest #selfcare #selflove #holyday #momknowsbest #momlifestyle #blackmomskillingit #christianmom #christianwoman
  • I’m so glad that we’re back in the 70s if only for a minute! Enjoying this LA weather and doing it first thing in the morning! #parentblogger #mommybloggers #browngirls #momknowsbest #momlifestyle #momlifeisthebestlife #blackboyjoy #momofboys #lalife #park #laviews #trails #morninghike
  • The gift exchange. Keep the Anniversary holy. #momlifestyle #parentsmagazine #parentblogger #momknowsbest #lovegoals #1busymommy #march14 #mommyblogger #mommybloggers #browngirls #browngirlsblog #blackgirlsblog #gift #lovelanguage
  • What is your love rooted in? I used to pride myself in not needing him. Not understanding that the feeling would show in ways that weren’t helpful to our relationship. I became vulnerable, exposed my thoughts and soul with him, that cultivated our friendship it increased our trust helped to bridge our thoughts, helped to establish boundaries, meet expectations and created some norms that we both valued. What is your love rooted in? What is your family built on? #momlifestyle #parentsmagazine #unschoolinglife #parentblogger #momknowsbest #love #romance #relationship #anniversary #year4 #1busymommy #lovequotes #growth #vulnerability #friendship
  • Do you know what today is???? It’s our Anniversary!!!! 4 years today. Write a blog post talking about why our love story is my favorite. Met him at 8 and our lives moved alongside each other for 17 years before we finally decided to take a chance and see where we might lead. looking foreword to doing life with this man for forever! #momlifestyle #parentsmagazine #unschoolinglife #parentblogger #momknowsbest #blacklovegoals #lovegoals #blackmomsblog #momblogger #mommyblogger #anniversary #4
  • Bedtime is early for this mom. Wednesday are my hump day because all of my big To dos are early in the week that way I’m sailing into my weekend! If you need it mommy rest up. #parentblogger #momknowsbest #mommy #momlifestyle #parentsmagazine #mommyblogger #momblog #unschoolinglife #1busymommy #blackmomsblog #browngirlsblog #millennialmom

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